We’ve all had that ping of jealousy hit us. Maybe you hopped on Facebook and saw an old friend sharing a picture from Paris or maybe you get jealous of influencers you follow.
I had that feeling recently when I was scrolling through Instagram. I follow several influencers who are living incredible lives and I love following them for inspiration. Well recently one of the accounts I follow mentioned she was celebrating her birthday and she was turning the same age I am.. gulp.
For some reason I thought she was several years older than me. In my mind I thought, “when I’m her age, I would love to live a similar life.” Well now that I knew she was the same age as me (technically a little younger), I started to see her account differently.
Instead of feeling inspired, I felt jealous.
Every time I saw one of her photos I was so irritated. My jealous made me kind of petty. “I bet her parents helped her pay for that house, there’s no way she could afford it herself.” I made excuses up in my head as to how she didn’t really deserve or earn her amazing life.
One day I popped on Instagram after a great meditation session and I was feeling really good and abundant. Well guess who’s photo popped up first? Immediately my energy shifted and I started thinking critically. I luckily snapped myself out and thought, “what is this negative energy trying to teach me?“
Believe it or not, your jealousy has a positive lesson to teach you.
I really dove into what why I was jealous and what that jealousy was trying to tell me. I realized I was feeling negative because I was comparing my progress to someone else. I’ve always been a high achiever and in school and my career, I’ve always been very advanced for my age. Seeing someone on the internet who is the same age but significantly farther along their professional journey than me, made me feel like I wasn’t much of an achiever after all.
Coming to that realization opened my eyes to my comparison. I knew deep down we are all on different journeys and that everyone only shares their highlights reel on Instagram so I had no idea what the behind the scenes of her life looked like. Also that my achievements don’t determine my self worth.
Remember, people only share their highlights reel on social media.
Now that I knew where that jealousy was coming from, a place of lack, I could dive into what it could teach me. How could I flip the script and use that jealousy to my advantage? Clearly I wanted what she had or I wouldn’t have these feelings. For example, if a friend posts about a party they went to, I like to see what they’re up to but I never feel jealous. As an introvert, the idea of being in a large group of strangers until the wee hours of the morning sounds miserable to me (give me a good redbox and pizza any night).
I know it sounds obvious that you’re only jealous of things you want, but it does make a big difference in how you see things. Now when I get that ping of jealousy, I stop sulking in it and shift my energy to feel gratitude that someone is showing me it’s a possibility for me too. Instead of thinking I could have that when I get older, I now know that it’s possible for me right now.
Jealousy makes that goal feel a little more achievable.
Jealousy makes that thing we want or goal we want to achieve feel less daunting and instead feel more obtainable. For example, think of how world records keep getting broken. What was once a shocking world record is now the “new normal” for those sports. It just takes one person to prove that it can be done then every one else knows it’s possible for themselves too.
The same shift in mindset can apply to your every day life. When you see someone else doing something you would love to do then you know it’s achievable for you too. If someone your age is living the life of luxury and traveling all around the world, why can’t you have that too? Use those people as inspiration and turn that jealousy into gratitude that your massive goal feels a little more achievable now.
If you still can’t shake that jealousy..
This method of shifting your thinking to a positive one can take time to master. If you get in that jealousy funk and can’t shake the feeling quickly then I would recommend hitting the “unfollow” button. There’s no reason you should be making yourself miserable over some stranger on the internet. If it’s a friend or family member you can always “hide” their account so you’re still friends/following them but you won’t see their posts in your feed. You can always go back and refollow or unhide their account in the future if you’re feeling more in control of those feelings.
